On prayer- from a good friend

>>>The struggle most of us go through are probably like this?

>>>Ok, I am inspired to change after a retreat or after an awesome speaker talk or even after a TERRIFIC praise and worship concert. I want so badly to develop a personal relationship with God. I'll read the bible...

>>>one week later, everything stopped, life back to normal.

For this Advent season, I challenge you to focus on just one, i.e. mental personal prayer. And I'll just share some insights I gathered from my life so far. Most of which are adapted from Time for God- Jacques Philippe

1. Tendency to turn prayer into a certain Christian Yoga.

This is the greatest misconception on prayer I held. I think if I follow a set of instructions (read a bible passage, say rosary, some other prayer to saints, etc.) I'll be guaranteed to pray well. This of course is false, the life of prayer is not based on a technique, but it is a grace we received. To do so would rely solely and ultimately on human efforts.

"The best method of prayer is not to have one, because prayer is not obtained by technique but by grace" -St.Jane Frances de Chantal

Some immediate consequences:

Since prayer is a gift, what we must focus instead is the necessary conditions for receiving the gift. And the most fundamental condition is FAITH.

-Faith in God's presence: regardless of what we might or might not feel, the preparation we have or have not done, how good we are, etc.-GOD is here, with us, looking at us, loving us. He is not here because we deserve him but because he promised: "Go into your room, and pray to your Father who is there in secret..." (Mt 6:6)

-Faith that we are called to meet God in prayer and he gives us the grace we need for this meeting: whatever difficulties, challenges, we must believe that God calls each of us personally to a life of prayer. It is because He is the one inviting us, calling us, and he is just, he will give us the grace needed to overcome whatever barriers.

-Faith in the fruitfulness of prayer: don't be discouraged. We are promised again by God that whoever ask and pray will receive. (Luke 11:9-10)

2. Focus on Perseverance rather than the quality or quantity of prayer.

We need lots of this especially in the beginning. I think it was from the DTP training that said it takes us 3-4 weeks to develop a habit.

On top of this, we have a weird notion of prayer. We think prayers that are long, focused, free of distractions, enriched with deep thoughts, etc. are the perfect ones. Instead, commit and be faithful EVERY day in mental prayer, even if it is poor, distracted, and relatively short. It is WORTH much more and will be infinitely more fruitful for your progress.

Imagine: would you rather want a constant, faithful lover professing their love to you everyday  (even if they feel down, sad, worried, distracted, etc.) or someone that occasional profess their love to you only if they are feeling their best.

3. Purity of intention.

This is one that we struggle a lot. We often feel discouraged and worried when our mental prayer "doesn't work" or feel dry. We should not pray for the sake of self-satisfactions or the benefits we receive (in analogy, that's like love with benefits). Instead, focus your prayer with true purity of intention and heart. One that is self-less and mainly aim to please only God. For it was said: "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God" (Mt 5:8). What matters is that you truly "waste time" and freely give it for God's satisfaction and God's joy.

4. Humility

This is another huge struggle. In community prayer, we can rely on others. But in solitude and the silence of our heart, we are ultimately confronted by our loneliness, our distraction, our reality, and our poverty. We find ourselves unsupported. 

Humble people don't struggle with this, indeed it counteracts the dryness. Because they understand that they don't rely on themselves. They are not discouraged because they trust not in themselves but God.

5. The measure of a successful prayer life is not inside prayer but outside.

Another thing I struggle with, I tend to measure my progress by seeing how well I am doing inside my prayer life instead of outside. FALSE! There is a huge connection between prayer and the rest of your life. Prayer is like a growing relationship of love. What you gained within your prayer is practiced outside your prayer life. (your disposition changes slowly, and the perseverance, purity of intention, humility, faithfulness will shine through)

Reverse scenario: if outside of your prayer life you always struggle with distractions, sins, and other non-essential, how would you expect your prayer life to be?

With that, I'll conclude with my top 4 excuses I find myself using for not praying.

1. I don't have enough time. With that, I simply remind myself- People don't die of hunger because they don't have enough time to eat. This has to do with your priority. If you tend to struggle with this a lot, do your personal prayer first thing after you get up.

2. Time spent in prayer is time stolen from studying or from others. Simple rebuttal, if you cannot be committed to your time with God, you are guaranteed to betray your time with friends and with work. On top of that, prayer always predisposes us a capacity to love and be present to others. 

3. It is sufficient that I pray while I work. This one is not all wrong. We are asked to offer up our sacrifices. But keep in mind this isn't very realistic and it's very hard. Use the analogy of a super hard working business man. He has a wife and kids, but he only expresses his love for them by working hard at work. He won't have time for the anniversary dinner, or the kids' ball game. hmmm, I wonder if he really loves them that much.

4. I need to feel sincere in my prayer. To start praying when I don't feel like it, is like forcing and fabricating these emotions to pray. This in itself is insincere. I pray only when I feel a spontaneous desire for it. Well, this isn't that logical either, if we are ruled by our emotions, we'll never have the mood to do anything. Real freedom are guided by our enduring choices, not emotions that come and go.

And finally, the last weapon I use- imagery.

If you feel dry and wasting so much time with this pointless activity, imagine a relationship between a loving father and an infant baby. Regardless of what the father says, the baby is not going to understand. But that doesn't mean the baby is not loved.

Same with us, God is so loving that we can't comprehend him. If we do, I imagine either our head will explode or we'll just die on the spot. Rest assure that every moment (even if we betray him), he will LOVE us unceasingly. Because God is LOVE.

amen!