Looking back at my prayer journal, it started on Dec 12. The scripture passage for that day (not the day's readings, but the one from this prayer booklet I've been trying to keep up with), was Luke 1:38 - "Mary said, Behold I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word. Then the angel departed from her."
This verse has always been unique and special, as it's a line in the Angelus which I've been familiar with since grade 11 thanks to Communion and Liberation. 3 days later was my second exam, which I was not prepared for at ALL, and so I had sent out a bunch of texts to friends asking them to pray for me. As I walked to my exam (fully prepared in prayer to make up for my lack of academic prep), I suddenly desired to pray the Memorare, but this time, I was completely in a position of need. I knew the only way I would get through this exam was grace, and so it was in a different attitude that I prayed that prayer. The exam questions contained the exact options that I had prepared to write, thus, it went SO well. Coming out of it, I texted my friends thanking them and praising God, and one replied saying: "Thank Mother Mary too!!" And I was like "woah, how did she know???!!" She replied, "I said a Hail Mary."
I thought to myself - wow. A Hail Mary. A simple, simple Hail Mary, prayed in confidence, and for a need. I know we always ask Mother Mary to intercede for us, but in this event, it just became so real for me. 2 days after that, I was at morning Mass, and there was a particular friend I knew that I desperately needed to pray for. After Mass, the parishioners gathered to say the rosary, and while normally I like to sit with Scripture after Mass, I grabbed my stuff and walked over to sit with them, fully intending to offer up this rosary entirely for my friend. There's a beautiful statue of Mother Mary in the area we prayed, and again, my attitude this time was different, it was one of complete trust in Mary's most powerful intercession.
This past week, the Gospels have all been surrounding the Annunciation, and powerful images fill my mind about Mary, and about her role in our Salvation. God chose her above all women to be the mother of His son, but in her FREEDOM, she chose to say yes. Mary was completely and utterly free in the face of that choice. The Incarnation awaited her consent. Here comes her fiat again - Fiat, Latin for "Let it be done"!
"Ecce ancilla Domini; fiat mihi secundum verbum tuum: is a statement of humble faith, and a model for how we are to respond when God calls us to do what seems impossible."
THAT'S amazing, and this is what comes to mind every time I hear those words - freedom in the face of God's will for me, and how my only desire is that my will be His will.
So, when I heard Elizabeth's words in today's Gospel, when Mary came to visit her (Mary again!!! :D): "And how does this happen to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?" I thought the same - how does this happen to ME, that Mary, the mother of MY Lord, should come to ME as she did in this month, and as she does daily? All the words spoken of her in Scripture just jump out at me - "Hail, full of grace!" ... "You have found favor with God" ... "The power of the Most High will overshadow you" ... "Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled."
Dearest Mary, obtain for me true contrition for my sins, and may you always be the door through which I go to Jesus. Amen!
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