Silent night.

This is a delayed post, I had meant to write it as the event unfolded, but at this point, I'm trying to get it done before Christmas. I apologize for ending advent on such a grim note.
The night was silent. The night of the 14th of December was devoid of the voices of 20 young children who were victims of the horrific disaster. How can one reconcile the killing of 20 children and 6 adults in season of Advent where we await the Savior clothed in the beauty of a baby?

The hard reality of the incident hit me when the ripples of this carnage washed over us, especially as we celebrated Gaudette Sunday that weekend. The Mass began with its introit, "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I say, rejoice. Indeed, the Lord is near". The first reading began with, "Shout for joy, O daughter of Zion! Sing joyfully, O Israel! Be glad and exult with all your heart, O daughter Jerusalem!". How can we, as Christians, find meaning in the darkest times? I intent not to answer the relevant philosophical problem of understanding the existence of a benevolent God in the midst of suffering, but I make an incomplete attempt at shedding some light on how we can find meaning in it.

Jesus' birth 2000 years ago too was bloodstained by the massacre of the innocents, as recorded by Matthew. However, find that even in the midst of devastating sorrow, the holy family finds joy, consolation and hope in the birth of the Savior. However, a Christian's answer to the problem of pain does not end with Jesus' birth. Liturgically, the celebration of Jesus’ birth in a matter of just about three months is followed by the lamentation of Jesus' suffering and death on the cross. All Christians are reminded of this gratuitous act of mercy as we lay our eyes on any crucifix, and this guides us to an understanding that suffering is not without purpose. Just as the massacre of the innocents gave way for the Messiah, the killing of the Israelite children gave way for Moses, the crucifixion gave way for Resurrection.

Therefore, in such times we ought to cling on to the cross, and be reminded that Christ's resurrection succeeded His immense suffering. We ought to know that when we bring our suffering to Him on the cross, we also become part takers in his resurrection.
Wishing you all that the love of baby Jesus will bring meaning and hope in all our lives.

P.S: I also noticed that playing with 1 month old babies for extended periods of time makes you inexpressibly joyful! :)

Brooms in a Closet

Sometimes I wonder how Mary and Joseph must have felt, as the days wound down to the birth of the Saviour of the World. I especially wonder at Joseph’s outlook on it all, since he was not sinless as was his wife. Mary was perfectly in tune with the will of God, which enabled her to make the decision to bear the Son of God whole-heartedly and without reservation. From Joseph’s point of view, I would imagine that everything must have been frightening; perhaps he thought that he was being unfairly treated, or that God was putting him through these trials as a punishment for past sins. From his wife-to-be being pregnant out of wedlock (shameful in their culture), to leaving his hometown to travel to Bethlehem, to struggling to find a place for Mary to give birth, to fleeing for their lives to a foreign land after Jesus’ birth…the list goes on and on. Such a beautiful instrument, Joseph was. Praise God for this model of manliness and courage! While we have virtually no record of Joseph’s words or thoughts on these events, we know that he willingly accepted all that he was meant to do, and that he loved his family with all his heart. My spiritual director described him as a wonderful model for us, as a ‘broom in a closet’. If we are to always do the will of God, we must be willing to be used at different times for different purposes, with the faith that God has “plans for our welfare, and not for our harm” (Jeremiah 29:11). Thus, we are to be like brooms in a closet, taken out when we are needed and used according to beautiful Divine Providence. As humans, sinful by nature, we often resist this beautiful mandate in favour of our own plans and devices. I am very grateful that Joseph did not flee, or take ‘the easy way out’ when all seemed to be going wrong. This Advent, as we eagerly await the coming of our Lord and Saviour, it is a time for us to pray that God writes His name on our hearts, and to be open to His Spirit that enables us to better serve Him as ‘brooms in the closet’. Pray without ceasing!

To be stoic or not to be (Sebin!)

By now, you must be accustomed to reading stories and analogies, preparing for Advent. For a change, here is something boring. It is only because I promised to write, and didn't want to walk out of it, though I am four days late.

'to be stoic or not to be' This question, was puzzling my mind for quite a while - let's say, since my childhood. Then, I didn't know what 'stoic' meant but I was very much trying to be so. To be tough, to be a man, to 'suck up' what all there could be, to describe in our own terms, the endurance of a large amount of pain without showing our feelings or complaining.

It is one of the basic things to get rid of, as we become more and more part of a community, especially a Catholic community (Kingdom of God) - because Jesus happened; the Holy Family happened. I was recently reflecting on the Holy Family, and how accepting of their pain they were. When they were knocking on doors when Mary was going through immense pain, they were admitting their situation, of pain, fear, uncertainty - though they had to settle for a manger at the end of the day.

As Christmas gets closer, I invite you to reflect on the areas of our lives that we try to hide from those who we trust, because we feel we can take care of ourselves well or because of a thought that 'it's my problem, I can handle it, no one needs to know'. Let us also offer help for those friends we think might be going through tough events in their life instead of having the "no one cries at a baseball game" kind of attitude.

The Morse Code Analogy

Sometime in the early 1800s, a gentleman by the name Morse – a painter by trade – and a few friends of his invented the electric telegraph. That was the beginning of the morse code. Morse was smart, talented, artistic, and an intellectual man. On the flip side, Morse also loved Slavery! He wanted slavery instituted in the United States, he was married a couple times, he hated immigrants, and he was also strongly anti-catholic. You can say he’s not the best role model around.

By mid 1800s, the United States had built its first telegraph line, and Morse sent his first official morse code “What hath God wrought”. It means “See what God has done!” (Numbers 23:23).

A few hundred years passed, and a young man named Jacob, inspired by the invention of the telegraph system, set out to make a name for himself in the field of electric telegraphy.  Jacob spent his Friday nights practising and improving his morse code skills. He went on to get a phD in morse code and published more than a hundred papers. During his late 20s, Jacob thought it would be very romantic to propose to his girlfriend in morse code. Unfortunately, his girlfriend didn’t think so (guys: take notes!). She eventually realised Jacob is not who she wants to spend the rest of her life with and broke up with him. Jacob was heartbroken and eventually fell into deep depression. A few more months passed and Jacob had lost his job, his credentials and his self esteem. Desperately searching for food, Jacob would go door to door of every business and residence in the city. Jacob desired so much to change his life.

One such evening, Jacob stepped into a telegraphy communications office begging for money. Many people were waiting in the outer office since today was hiring day. A few dozen applicants had spent the entire morning in the interview room and now they were waiting outside to hear if they had gotten the job. Jacob walked in, and as he entered the door, instead of begging for money, he stopped and listened. He heard morse code in the background. He looked around, and all the other applicants were so busy and occupied with each other or were on their phones. Jacob walked into the inner office, and a few minutes later he came out and said “Everyone please go home. I’ve got the job.”

The applicants were confused and mockingly asked him “oh yeah? What did you do? Panhandle for the job?” Jacob smiled and said, “I simply heard the morse code in the background saying ‘If you can hear this, come in, the job is yours’, and so I got the job.”

You might say that Jacob got the job because he was listening! God wants us to listen to him so we can accomplish our duty. If we don’t pay attention to Him, then our job will simply be given to someone else who is willing to listen. Great missionaries or saints are not any more special than us, but rather, they are ordinary people who listened to His voice rather than the distractions of this world. Are you listening? 

A Messy Mass and a Wandering Baby and the Incarnation.

It's been a dull week on the Advent Blog. But it's okay. We will pick up and keep walking. :)

Because I can only think in stories, I would like to share a story. It's really funny how many significant  things I have learned through the Mass and through babies. This story involves both. :)

This Sunday, I attended what was easily one of the messiest Masses I had ever seen. The Mass started late, the candle-bearers went forward without the priest, who came after the choir sang the same song for 10 minutes, the ladies beside me wouldn't stop talking and the priest forgot about the Children's Liturgy! I, to say the least, was not impressed.

Then I hear this thumping sound. Boom boom boom. And I thought there was construction going on outside the Church- a few minutes later I realised that it was actually a baby stomping around the altar, which, it seems, was very hollow! Eventually the thumping stopped. I looked up to see her stopped in her tracks, staring (prayerfully?) at the large crucifix fixed to the Church wall. She stood like that for a good while before thumping her way back to her mother. She ran on and off the altar a few times like this.

My favourite moment of hers though, was after Communion. While the priest was cleaning the vessels, she decided that this was an opportune moment to go to the front of altar and lie on her belly. Prostrate in front of the altar. And she laid like that for a good while. Though for the most part through this Mass, I had been very critical of her behaviour (and her parents)- this time I had to chuckle. It was so perfect. Maybe she was doing what none of us dared to in our worship of the Lord.

And then I thought about Jesus would feel about this mess we had just offered. And I asked Him. And I believe that He led me to understand that, though this was a messy Mass- The Lord was present. And He came and He loved.

This messy Mass helped me understand that this is what God does for us. He chooses to enter our mess. He chooses to. The mess we've made of creation, the mess we made of our lives, the mess we made of our relationship with Him. Isn't this what the Incarnation is all about? The Lord enters the world in a dirty, smelly manger. He walks among the scum of society.  He dwells in my barren heart. And He keeps doing it without fail.

This is our Lord. This is what it means that God would become man. Perfection chooses to be unclean.

In my wildest imagination I could not make up or understand this story of love. I am so grateful- for messy Masses, for courageous babies, and for a Lord who always comes and always is and always loves.

sharing joy instead of self-pity

Someone. Post something!

I keep thinking this to myself when I open up this blog.

It can't be two Lobos in a row! But then... I guess maybe no one wants to be the one to follow the post by a pregnant woman. Kind of hard to write a more/equally relevant post when you're not expecting during Advent.

Welll.... I am biting the bullet.
1. cause she's my sister
2. cause I hope more people will write now
3. cause I can then take a break from studying for contracts
4. cause I found something I really want to share with you

Today I had a pretty not lovely day. I mean, there were objectively a lot of lovely things about it [I use the word objective SO MUCH now that I'm in lawschool, its redonk]. But... I came home this evening and was NOT in a good mood.

Combination of a less than awesome exam, really bad day nutrition-wise, yet another car fiasco, and another exam to study for with a less than thrilling practice exam attempt. And then I watched an emotional episode of parenthood.

BUT, I knew it was silly to be this way. And yet, I sort or wallowed in it anyways for a good few hours. Why? cause I'm a weak little human who sometimes seems to like feeling bad for myself.

Then, I got an email from my Dad saying he would work out the car situation, and found some vegetable soup to fix the nutrition thing, and went over the practice exam and found it wasn't too bad! Point being, things got all better :)

God's pretty great.

The other thing that happened is I found this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSZQceNbZLA

Extremely calming, praise God for these beautiful women, and also I really want to hear more from this album!! If the youtube clip calmed me down I can only imagine how good the whole album is.

Anyways, along with the music, the Prioress talks about the lifestyle these sisters live, and how it's all focused on God. She spoke of how even though they live a cloistered life, this CD was a way for them to share their beautiful and inspiring lifestyle and theirselves with the world. Well... lucky me, I live in the world and get a million opportunities a day to share my joy in Christ with the world.

Doesn't seem like I really succeeded in that this evening, but tomorrow is a new day, and I'm excited to take advantage of the blessed life I've been given, and to share my joy and gifts and talents with those around me.


[That's all :).]

Advent. waiting. pregnancy.

I'm really excited about this post. This comes from Becky Lobo, Mac alum, and a really dear friend and sister of mine who is EXPECTING HER FIRST CHILD! So she has some really cool things to say. Read on :) 


This year, the first Sunday of Advent marked for me not only the beginning of waiting for Christ, but also the first day of my third trimester, in this 9 month journey of anticipating our first child. I thought that was pretty great.

I’ve always had a pretty hard time trying to figure out how to anticipate something or someone who is already so present in my life… but I think my horizons are widening a tad this year.

Over the last 6 months, I have spent countless hours preparing for this baby. From scouring Kijiji for the best deals, to reading about the safety of different baby products, and imagining how my life is about to change, it has been hours. Or probably days. Maybe even weeks. I’ve been trying to anticipate and prepare for all the needs our child will have. I want him or her to be safe and healthy when we finally bring them home, and, as it turns out, that takes a LOT of preparation. (I’m not much of a planner, and I’m making lists and keeping budgets. Big step.) 

I think as we wait for the coming of Christ, this same process of preparation applies. Just as a child in my womb and eventually a newborn baby requires things from me, so too does Christ. Right now. And what He asks of us matters. 

So, what does He need from me?  In one sense, nothing. He is perfect and complete and all powerful and able to do all things. So He doesn’t need anything. But I’m reminded of St. Teresa of Avila’s words, which remind me that what I do matters.

Christ has no body now on earth but yours,
no hands but yours,
no feet but yours,
yours are the eyes through which Christ's compassion
is to look out to the earth,
yours are the feet by which He is to go about doing good
and yours are the hands by which He is to bless us now.

In the same way that I have now been entrusted with a new life in my womb and am called to protect and care for it, I have also been entrusted with a mission from God that extends into every moment of my daily life. I’m called to love. Everyone. To be charitable. To give generously. To help until it hurts. Like actually. When is the last time I did something at a serious cost to my own wellbeing or happiness? I’m not sure. But I feel like I shouldn’t have to look back a few weeks in order to find that incident. I hear parenthood challenges any selfishness a person has, but I think knowing Christ should have seriously kick-started this process. 

With a little one on the way, I feel a sense of responsibility – to give this child the love and the faith and the health that I’ve have so abundantly enjoyed for the last 24 years of my life. And with Christ on the way , I feel that responsibility in a broader, but still individual sense – to offer myself completely to the life that He calls me to and the people I meet. To empty myself of selfish habits and give freely of my talents and treasures until He comes again.

I don’t think it’s a passive waiting that Advent is meant to spur us on to. I think it’s very active. Discerning what God asks. And doing it. Actually doing it. So that when He comes, He might look at us with love and call us His good and faithful servants.